I have been silent on my social media platforms for the past 2 weeks. Life happened. In a tragic, sad, and heartbreaking fashion. In my continued quest to be transparent and share the challenges of life, career, and family – I will share the happenings over the past two weeks. The emotion and pain are still so very raw but my journey in writing is to share to help others.
My husband of 30 years tragically took his own life on August 5th after suffering with a long battle with depression. The shock, the pain, and the overwhelming sadness over the past two weeks has been surreal. I feel like I am in slow motion and in a dream that I will soon awake from.
The things you walk through in those first days and weeks are scary, sad, and heart wrenching.
I learned even more what an amazing family we have – my gratitude can never be measured for the support and caring that our family provided for us during this horrific tragic, unexplainable loss. They immediately jumped in to do what needed to be done to support me and my children.
My work family has been equally supportive. I have only worked for Comcast for two years and the love, caring, support, and meaningful gestures have been simply overwhelming. I now know the larger purpose for coming to Comcast – it was for more than the work. It was to be surrounded by a true family of colleagues and friends to lift me up in a time of darkness.
Over the next few weeks I will share some of what I hope will be helpful to others as I have walked this journey (and will continue to do so) – how to create a meaningful remembrance for a loved one who ends their life, how to navigate back into work in a meaningful way, how to manage grief, and how to remember and honor the legacy of another.
I will close with this: I deeply loved my husband from my heart. I did my very best to ensure the years since he retired were filled with fabulous fun. I think that was accomplished but there was so much more to do which makes me sad. My husband enjoyed the times spent together with family–they were some of the best times of his life. Together as a couple we truly “lived life” and had fun with ever growing bucket list activities.
My heart is broken and my life will never be the same. But I am so very grateful he chose to spend the last 30+ years with me – I loved being his wife. My husband’s caring and loving soul will be a part of what I choose to remember – as well as the love story of all times.
Thank you to my “village” for holding me up, helping me out, and supporting me – every single gesture and act has guided my days.
“Remember me…..in the stars, in the wind, in the ocean and in your heart.” -MJB