Empowering Women

My Year of White Knuckling My Way Through Life

My year of white knuckling my way through life….

Not proud of it and certainly not sugarcoating my journey. For the past year, August 6th, 2017 through today, I have been holding on…for dear life. I am terrified to let go, to breath, to fully exhale….terrified because I don’t know what is on the other side of the release.

I am holding tight to my memories of my husband, I think I am afraid I will forget. I can’t ever forget, and honestly that fear scares me.

I am holding tight to maintain composure and check my emotions. I am afraid if I don’t, I won’t ever stop crying. I am afraid if I don’t, the people in my life will walk away ….. afraid and unsure of how to help me.

I am holding tight to get through every. single. day. It’s exhausting…..I’m exhausted. But I must hold tight because if I let go or release the grip I don’t know how to manage what may be the “fallout.”

Living your life in a white knuckled fashion is draining. I try. I try to live a life – not one of my choosing but one I was left with……the colors aren’t as bright and the joy isn’t as deep. I can “do things” but they bring me less joy and happiness. It’s different joy and happiness as expected but it measures below the scale of joy and happiness for most people.

Will the next year be as painful as this year? I don’t know. Will I continue the white knuckle journey? For now it seems that way. Grief and grieving is not for the weak….this is tough work and a tough journey. Thank you for supporting my journey in whatever way you have – in whatever way you could. Every gesture has meant so very much. There are gifts in grief – even when we don’t want to acknowledge them. I have received many ……. and that will be the next blog article, so stay tuned.

Empowering Women

Education and The Importance of Kindness

I spend a lot of time sharing about the importance of STEM education for our young children, especially girls. While it remains an important topic of conversation, I do think that “kindness education” is equally important. In this day and age (politics aside, please) of what I call anger rhetoric and brazen public bullying, our children are exposed to a world that can seemingly demonstrate a lack of kindness.

The basic tenets of the human condition are health and welfare. Ensuring access to food, nutrition, medical support etc. are basic foundations of what the human condition needs. Truth, caring, honesty, and kindness are the more intrinsic factors of the human experience. Our children need to experience kindness; to demonstrate kindness and to build a life of kindness. While I am not a social scientist nor am I a human psychologist ….. I do know what kindness means……to me; to my family; to my children and to the next generation entering the world.

My sister is a gifted teacher – teaching in an integrated first grade learning environment for over 30 years. The school she works in is in a socio economically challenged district. She sees a lot of the social challenges her children experience. My sister understands the experience of kindness and how that matters to young children often from less than kind circumstances. She shared with me her passion to include kindness in her curriculum and within her school. She has been focused on a “no bullying” campaign over the past two years. She is going to now build a legacy of kindness in a “kindness curriculum” over the next four years before she retires. This is the legacy she will leave the school; the children and the world. What a difference it will make to our future generations.

STEM is important and Kindness always matters! #practicekindness #bekind